Friday 23 January 2015

Behind The Illness





This will be open frank post, I need to be honest as so many times people see pictures on instagram think you life is great or somewhat together. When really for me the pics above is true representation of me, however you cannot see the hot water that is beside me. Being in constant pain, everything tires me out, the dining out pics I have on instagram afterwards I get home I am exhausted, usually nap. With different health problems that's going on besides the norm, I go onto facebook to have my moan, then I see another person is pregnant and part of me is sadden, I be turning 30 this year and making me reflect even more, I wanted of achieved so much for myself, motherhood, a career, a home I bought. None of them I have achieved and does get me down, no one congratulates you for getting up each day, living on through the pain, so many times when I have seizures I ask can you take me now, so I don't have to suffer anymore, however it does strengthens me. And I completely understand I'm in no means in worse case scenario, I'm not dying or anything like that.

Just don't want to be invisible just like my illness is, will continue to be inspired to those who keep fighting, achieving their goals regardless of the struggle. I hope one day I can inspire somebody.

Honestly hitting the post button making me somewhat anxious will anyone even read this, or comment, as open myself. However someone out there might be feeling the same or similar, just know you not alone, hugs. x

PS- Yes I do snuggle with a teddy.

2 comments:

  1. Little sis, we don't say it enough because we want to push you, but your right we don't feel the pain we can only look on and comment, your my little sister and it hurts to see you in any sort of pain so to see you like this over such a long period now, I speak for everyone in our family, we are so proud of you for fighting on and getting up everyday, we love you so much and we want you to keep getting up everyday and making us so proud of you every single time. I know this has taking a lot away from you, many goals, now you must make new ones and go for it... Knowing that we are all here behind you, pushing and willing you on. Love from your brother who misses seeing you more often. Take care and stay strong.

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  2. Feel exactly the same babe living with MS and chronic vertigo! Gna be 30 this year too and can't believe the situation! Xx Ur a fighter! Xx Bex x

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