Dazed And Confused.

Looking through my pics I saw this one and knew straight away needed to use this one, thankfully I've not used this specific photo before on my blog. Honestly you can feel lost in this blogging community, I would love to go blogging events and events in general meet people, have that interaction. But it's difficult when you can't travel places, I don't have anyone to go can you come all the way to my area then travel to the place providing it's a train not a tube, oh and by the way if you see my eyes rolling or my breathing is funny to sit me down, make sure drink water and take meds if need be. Like really who want's to do that.

Also like Ashleigh in her blog post click here I just don't feel happy (although for me I don't truly know what happiness is, TRUE HAPPINESS), that's not to knock other emotions as there is so many. My spark my mojo for art has taken a dip AGAIN, I need a holiday regroup, different environment from the norm. Also one of my new meds is messing up my concentration, which suffered before anyway but yeah damn side effects. Before people jump on me say just go on holiday, I would go now if I could go alone even if it was just to the coast or something. Who wouldn't want to go abroad, but even all that comes with complications, ugh sigh...

I do feel like I am in catch 22, I am not disabled to where I am in wheelchair but I use crutch to walk around but standing up and walking distances is a problem, so fall into middle ground almost like lost land, can't really articulate it into words how it is, I know people with illnesses will understand where I am coming from. It's not only a physical thing but real mental game, which can just leave you dangling dazed and confused.

Really sorry if this blog post was all over the place, I just needed to express myself, this is my little outlet.

Admitted Into Hospital Via A&E (Accident And Emergency for my non Brits readers)

I apologise in advance if you find these pictures disturbing however it's reality my reality.

Yes I look a mess, last thing I was worried about was make up and my hair in the midst of passing out, collapsing, can't even remember calling the ambulance, the paramedics packed my phone, some meds and door keys, locked my door for me. So I was in A&E on Wednesday afternoon 20th March 2013 didn't think nothing of it, even right up until eve/night time thought yeah going home even though I was in critical state, I could barely talk. Doctor said I think you should stay over night to monitor me, got moved to short stay bit can't remember the name as things was just haze for me, whilst there I took a turn oxygen mask on again needles monitors doctors nurses rushing around me, so by this point you may of guessed it I am not going anywhere I am staying here now. I got transferred to a ward and that became my home, all the while still thinking oh I am going home today, doctors was like Er no Lucy, really wasn't well, I even had to be glued to my bed for one whole day couldn't leave it trust me I tried it but the nurse came rushing over like get back in that bed, put the bars up so it restricted me. It amazed me how nurses showed concern stroking my hand telling me it be OK, even doctor held my hand, which is rare these days.

Cannot thank enough nurses/health care assistants work their butt off, long hours, give my hats off to them, was always good having bit of banter with them. I was prodded everywhere, needle pricked pretty much everywhere both arms and hands, back and stomach.. Tests... 7 days later I got discharged Wednesday 27th March 2013 Night time yes night time, don't ask. 

Won't bore you with details as I have rambled enough, yes Fibromyalgia flare up, severe migraine however I have other health problems which is still under investigation, I know I have been vague but if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I hope whomever is reading this is ok, if you not you can get cyber hug from me if that helps, doubt it but it's the thought that counts ;) xx

Portrait Of Life

Living with chronic illnesses is draining mentally and physically. Often wishing I could just switch it off, have peace. I can't remember last time I've been to social event. That's why I can't exactly blog about events or social things as truth be told I don't go out. So I concentrate on what I can do, my little platform of creativity.

Hope you like my little photography, and I finally have camera to play around with as you can see, an old camera that was given to me but still in good working condition so yay.

PS- Note I am not fishing for oh poor you, just you to enjoy the pics. xx

Natural Tears. It's Okay To Cry.

Looking and just watching the world go by, seasons past and I am still stuck here. Isolated long periods of time, I know people will just say oh just go out etc problem is not that simple A. I can't travel/go out alone due to my health B. I don't really have many people to depend on.

Art/writing keeps me sane, also try not to cut myself out from the world completely as it can be easy to just shut off, keeping relationships with people is important. However sometimes I need time away from the internet etc just to gather my thoughts.

So I am going to hug myself like a loony and continue listening to my music, having my own private party (not the dirty kind with stripper dance eh no).

PS- It's my drawing.

The ID Band Company: Wristband Review

 This is very much needed item for me, as I am somebody who regularly collapses and so many times when I am passed out and I cannot talk, or when I can talk it's slurry. Important information like being allergic to certain medication which I am, which is very risky and life threatening. With this wristband you are able to have important details like the medication you are on, emergency contact, allergies, list of your illnesses.

I never heard of medical wristband like this until friends of mine told me, you would of think I would of been told this by doctors, the amount times I been in hospital lately from the collapses. So this is very little handy thing for me, and it's waterproof absolute beauty for me, and I can say that is, as I've been wearing it everyday since I got it which has been good couple of weeks now.

Only down side for me which is my fault, I forgot I'm little fatty so I should of ordered medium as I don't have my little wrists any more boo. So it irritates my skin a little, but once I have the right size it be all gravy (for my non UK readers that means it be all good).

When you go on the website of The ID Band Company click here you see they have wide variety of wristbands, bracelets, even watches that can contain important information, and more, so you defiantly not spoilt for choice, they cater for children and adults. So if you somebody who's allergic to nuts for example this could be something for you, or if you have a condition etc. The prices do range, delivery is good.

Side note: Once I do get new camera, whenever that be, I promise you my pictures will improve. Just at the moment it's very difficult to take the quality pics I want, when my current camera is just not doing it, I think my small little baby is slowly dying on me. So I have to use my phone instead.


PS- This item was sent me, but as you can see I am somebody who very much needed this item regardless if it was sent to me or not. 100% my views!

Tough Time

I know I don't have big following or anything on here or twitter etc. However I wanted to share this, as my blog is representation of me, recently I've been having unexplained collapses/pass out/black outs, and it feels my fibro has taken big hit. Even typing this taking effort and concentration, as I've had constant migraine since I collapsed outside, where bunch of strangers had to help me and call for help, the picture above is when I got rushed to hospital.

Since then I've sadly had more falls etc. Resulting in more pain on top of normal fibro pains. I am not writing this for sympathy, but more for the reason to explain why I don't talk as much online, or why i'm MIA for periods of times, as you should know I like to chat by now. So not blanking any body, my words may come out funny, as my head is cloudy, and if somebody told me the sky is yellow I would believe them, that's how foggy my brain is at times.

Thank you to those who have asked me how I am, the support my loved ones have shown <3

Will try to keep you updated.

Hope you are well, looking after yourselves. Let me know what you been up to?!
xx