Showing posts with label feeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feeling. Show all posts

Friday, 23 January 2015

Behind The Illness





This will be open frank post, I need to be honest as so many times people see pictures on instagram think you life is great or somewhat together. When really for me the pics above is true representation of me, however you cannot see the hot water that is beside me. Being in constant pain, everything tires me out, the dining out pics I have on instagram afterwards I get home I am exhausted, usually nap. With different health problems that's going on besides the norm, I go onto facebook to have my moan, then I see another person is pregnant and part of me is sadden, I be turning 30 this year and making me reflect even more, I wanted of achieved so much for myself, motherhood, a career, a home I bought. None of them I have achieved and does get me down, no one congratulates you for getting up each day, living on through the pain, so many times when I have seizures I ask can you take me now, so I don't have to suffer anymore, however it does strengthens me. And I completely understand I'm in no means in worse case scenario, I'm not dying or anything like that.

Just don't want to be invisible just like my illness is, will continue to be inspired to those who keep fighting, achieving their goals regardless of the struggle. I hope one day I can inspire somebody.

Honestly hitting the post button making me somewhat anxious will anyone even read this, or comment, as open myself. However someone out there might be feeling the same or similar, just know you not alone, hugs. x

PS- Yes I do snuggle with a teddy.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Coming Or Going


My presence online hasn't been much as normal, can't say my life has been crazy hectic that's why, however just been ill a lot recently with other things, nothing life threatening don't worry, no "don't cry for me Argentina" moments. And if I'm honest my mood is like don't know if I am coming or going. My confidence as whole, self doubting myself hugely, but at the same time still determined, strange, right. I started this blog as wanted outlet for myself, somewhere I could escape, distraction and to put forward portfolio of me. I've been hesitate to blog because feel myself prejudging so much, instead of just letting it be. As they say we are our biggest critic. I needed to do this blog post as it's cathartic, yes my confidence is low, but it's working progress, however still don't take for granted the support I have, as too many times we see the perfect imagery of people's lives, with me I want to be open, whether it's me in my hospital gown, having a moan, or celebrating the good times, for me I want to be diverse.

The picture above taken when I was in Folkstone, just how my mood is the tide coming in and out, symbolises the mood, also the beauty of the sea, seeing beauty within yourself, wow, deep, not taken my antibiotics yet so I'm not trippy, haha.

Hows your mood?


Thursday, 2 May 2013

Vlog Blog


I know the quality is crap, just don't have the energy to get out my camera out, set it up etc, I just wanted to talk and express myself.

Lets chat x